am i just plain stupid?

what I really don't wanna end up being is a mediocre.

it will hurt me so much to know that I am living and will live off this world as a mediocre.

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hi, it's me having a self-crisis for the umpteenth times.

tomorrow I will turn 23.

idk what's ahead me, I'm curious indeed,

but I'm also so so scared to realize that I've been living twenty three years old of my life doing absolute nothingness, nothing to remember, nothing helpful, nothing to be proud of, nothing glorious, nothing. God forbid I'm destined to just do nothing.

just nothing.

I know what will excite my soul is when I can turn things I've been dreaming of into reality.

(oh my dearest Allah I really depend on you my life, please ease me everything. :") Aamiin.)

I wanna make my own clothing line.

I wanna publish my own book.

I wanna be a fun dentist.

but, for now, let's hope I can get my life all figured out. 

little update, I just found out I didn't win in a poetry contest I submitted in :")

hufffttttt it's the second times I failed.

hehe

do I really have nothing I can be proud of?

mau nangis ih hahahahaha di saat gue lg berusaha mencari validasi akan diri gue.... hmmmmm gagal kak sedih jg yah.

but, it's okay

we can try again.