A!

Aku lahir dari rahim seorang bidadari yang peluknya mirip hangat mentari dan ucap doanya tulus tiada pamrih aku hidup berlalu lebih dari  masuk dua kali sepuluh tahun untuk pahamkan aku berawal dari kandungan seorang bidadari bidadari yang dulu kerap kali aku sakiti hatinya dan aku rusak harinya tiada ragu kini aku mengerti tiada hati yang tak kunjung usai cintai walau si anak kandung kadang abai dan menolak mengerti selain bidadari dengan aura matahari ku panggil mama dan berwujud dalam seorang seperti ia dan apabila akhirat mengadakan petisi aku akan minta agar dia jadi abadi aku inginkan diri ini menjadi bakti aku harap Tuhan siramkan karunia dan bahagia yang tiada bertepi adanya bagi ia dan pasangan hatinya di setiap jarum jam berdetik,  dalam kehidupan mereka. few rough days back at the hospital. a message from my dad that bursted me into tears right away.

amidst the anxious feeling, I wrote; and I just developed a new fear: being a carrier of the virus and putting my parents in danger :( praying so hard that I am not, and my family will be all safe & healthy. Love them so much it scares me. Allah, please, please protect us. 

lagi bahagia feeling content and blessed Alhamdulillah but at the same time I'm sparing some space in my heart not to be too happy or overwhelmed, it scares me that it can be taken away from me anytime, but Allah I only put good thought and I trust you, it's not wrong to feel happy as this. I think I am not happy, I am grateful. and that feels so good. again, Alhamdulillahirabbil'alamin.

well, I stop looking because I've found exactly one that I like so much, and I don't want it any other way should I just keep waiting for it to arrive? I don't know, I just know I am pretty stubborn about it.

merinding bgt ntn Itaewon Class, pdhl baru episode 1. kayak gambarin kehidupan yang ada di dunia nyata.

midway.

malem ini lg sedih. karena berasa ngecewain org yg gue hormati bgt dan look up to. yaaa orgnya jg gabakal sadar sih, tp gue sgt menghormati residen bm yang ngebimbing gue, kiko, sama agis selama 4 hari kita di sardjito. trs karena suatu hal gitu, kita kayak ngecewain beliau. trs mellow gt pgn minta maaf. besok ya mungkin, ini udh malem. tp takut gabisa tidur dah hahaha :" trs ditambah lg ini: me & my random questions at my dad. lol

dear, self please do yourself a favour and do not burden yourself with limits you make yourself. you have no limits, you are unstoppable, just keep trying, keep moving. semangat! jangan minder sm kemampuan diri sendiri, fah.

priorities, priorities. I am now typing this as 23 years old Afifah, who knows years from now I will read this again and idk maybe just reminiscing and being simply grateful? Idk yet. priorities, priorities. I really thank Allah because idk when it started to hit me, but I am being more and more self-aware, I know what I really want and what I don't. I know what I can tolerate and otherwise. I'm not being a fomo person, like who I was back then. I don't do forcing myself to be in moments I even like anymore. I'm grateful. I'm loving myself more, and I prioritise myself more. now that I know what I really want; first, I really want to get my degree as a dentist as soon as possible and start making money, because my friends had started it like from 2 years ago. then I wanna study psychology, like really enroll master degree I think about it? but before that, I wanna be an endodontist, it seems like too much to plan, too hard to reach, but I know what I want, a...

Allah is The Kindest of All.

1. pengen ikut kontribusi lebih banyak di pengabdian masyarakat buat kesehatan gigi gituuuu entah ikut bantu tindakan penambalan atau scalling gitu, kalau ekso desidui gapapa deh tp kalau nekrose2 gitu masih ngeri kalau di tempat yg terbatas alatnya. pokoknya pengen lebih banyak membantu gituuuuuu semoga bisa yaaa di tengah mengejar inhal 🤣 Aamiin!! 2. pengen olahraga lebih rutin lagi, karena sekarang badan udah jompo dan kayak ibu hamil 🤣 karena gapernah olahraga. terus juga makan yang lebih sehat karena tahun kemaren makannya berasa kotorrrr dan ga dijaga bgt 3. to love myself moreeeee! please no more hating myself and feeling not good enough. it’s tiring you know. 4. to give more 5. to save more