just me pouring my heart out
priorities, priorities.
I am now typing this as 23 years old Afifah, who knows years from now I will read this again and idk maybe just reminiscing and being simply grateful? Idk yet.
priorities, priorities.
I really thank Allah because idk when it started to hit me, but I am being more and more self-aware, I know what I really want and what I don't. I know what I can tolerate and otherwise. I'm not being a fomo person, like who I was back then.
I don't do forcing myself to be in moments I even like anymore. I'm grateful. I'm loving myself more, and I prioritise myself more.
now that I know what I really want; first, I really want to get my degree as a dentist as soon as possible and start making money, because my friends had started it like from 2 years ago.
then I wanna study psychology, like really enroll master degree I think about it? but before that, I wanna be an endodontist, it seems like too much to plan, too hard to reach, but I know what I want, and I will try to get what I want. Bismillah. :)
there are things I really wanna make into reality as well: publishing my own book and making my own clothing line.
dreams, dreams. I think dreams and prayers that always make me see the world in a positive perspective. no time for feeling not good enough, oh dear self, just pursue your best being and never in million years compare yourself to another beings. when you really become your best self, there is nothing to regret. you can die in peace haha.
but why do all my goals only revolve in myself??
I am asking me.
I know, it includes all the people I love too, with the money I make or the ability I have, I wanna spoil and help people around me like my family, friends, and relatives. but I think there's more than that. what about the people I don't even know and I haven't loved but they need my help?
I think I have to look for purposes too,
to always be a helping-hand,
to make a better place, it sounds cringey, but whatever,
can I do it with charity? or with doing a lot of community services?
can I find the time? can I balance it all?
will I be able to die in peace, knowing I have grown old accomplishing all my dreams?
that's where I put Allah. for all the things that beyond my measure, beyond my thinking, I have Allah to manage it all. and one thing I deeply trust; wa lam akum bidu'a `ika rabbi syaqiyyā.
I am now typing this as 23 years old Afifah, who knows years from now I will read this again and idk maybe just reminiscing and being simply grateful? Idk yet.
priorities, priorities.
I really thank Allah because idk when it started to hit me, but I am being more and more self-aware, I know what I really want and what I don't. I know what I can tolerate and otherwise. I'm not being a fomo person, like who I was back then.
I don't do forcing myself to be in moments I even like anymore. I'm grateful. I'm loving myself more, and I prioritise myself more.
now that I know what I really want; first, I really want to get my degree as a dentist as soon as possible and start making money, because my friends had started it like from 2 years ago.
then I wanna study psychology, like really enroll master degree I think about it? but before that, I wanna be an endodontist, it seems like too much to plan, too hard to reach, but I know what I want, and I will try to get what I want. Bismillah. :)
there are things I really wanna make into reality as well: publishing my own book and making my own clothing line.
dreams, dreams. I think dreams and prayers that always make me see the world in a positive perspective. no time for feeling not good enough, oh dear self, just pursue your best being and never in million years compare yourself to another beings. when you really become your best self, there is nothing to regret. you can die in peace haha.
but why do all my goals only revolve in myself??
I am asking me.
I know, it includes all the people I love too, with the money I make or the ability I have, I wanna spoil and help people around me like my family, friends, and relatives. but I think there's more than that. what about the people I don't even know and I haven't loved but they need my help?
I think I have to look for purposes too,
to always be a helping-hand,
to make a better place, it sounds cringey, but whatever,
can I do it with charity? or with doing a lot of community services?
can I find the time? can I balance it all?
will I be able to die in peace, knowing I have grown old accomplishing all my dreams?
that's where I put Allah. for all the things that beyond my measure, beyond my thinking, I have Allah to manage it all. and one thing I deeply trust; wa lam akum bidu'a `ika rabbi syaqiyyā.
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